Women's Mixed Messages
What women say - And What they really mean.
ARE YOU WILLING TO: This means you better do it.
FINE: This is the word women use to end an argument when they feel they are right
and you need to shut up. Never use "fine" to describe how a woman looks. This will
cause you to have one of "those" arguments.
FIVE MINUTES: This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your
football game is going to last before you take out the trash, so it's an even trade.
NOTHING: This means "something" and you should be on your toes. "Nothing" is usually
used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside
down, and backwards. "Nothing" usually signifies an argument that will last "Five
Minutes" and will end with the word "Fine".
GO AHEAD (With Raised Eyebrows): This is a dare. One that will result in a woman
getting upset over "Nothing" and will end with the word "Fine".
GO AHEAD (Normal Eyebrows): This means "I give up" or "do what you want because I
don't care". You will get a "Raised Eyebrow Go Ahead" in just a few minutes,
followed by "Nothing" and "Fine", and she will talk to you in about "Five Minutes"
when she cools off.
LOUD SIGH: This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often
misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot at that
moment, and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here arguing with you over
SOFT SIGH: Again, not a word, but a non-verbal statement. "Soft Sigh" means that she
is content. Your best bet is not to move or breathe, and she will stay content.
THAT'S OKAY: This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a
man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before paying you
back for whatever it is that you have done. "That's Okay" is often used with the
word "Fine" and in conjunction with a "Raised Eyebrow Go Ahead". At some point in
the near future, you are going to be in some mighty big trouble.
PLEASE DO: This is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman is giving you the chance
to come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for doing whatever it is that you
have done. You have a fair chance with the truth, so be careful and you shouldn't
get a "That's Okay".
THANKS: A woman is thanking you. Do not faint. Just say "you're welcome".
THANKS A LOT: This is much different than "Thanks". A woman will say "Thanks A Lot"
when she is really ticked off at you. It signifies that you have offended her in
some callous way, and will be followed by the "Loud Sigh". Be careful not to ask
what is wrong after the "Loud Sigh" as she will only tell you "Nothing".